Things to know when preparing for Marriage

Starting a new relationship usually brings great excitement and high expectations. Emotions are at a peak, life is rosy and we want the relationship and the intensity to last forever. In our society when a man and a woman come of age marriage is inevitable. No one plans to get married and be miserable or to make their spouse miserable. Yet from recent ratings we are aware of the divorce rates in our society. 

This is as a result of lack of preparation, mentally, physically and spiritually. Failure to learn how to build an outstanding marriage.

Most people spend more time to prepare for the wedding ceremony rather than preparing for life after the wedding (marriage). Many of these struggles and conflicts in marriages could have been avoided if they had taken time to research and prepare for marriage.

The feelings we call love is not enough to build and adequate foundation for marriage. Don't misunderstand me, love is an important aspect of marriage. 

The Feelings: The rush, that sensation we feel when we see a girl / boy across the room. The tingling we get, the chills on our skin and the rush in our heart is not enough to build an outstanding marriage. When in a relationship it's the feeling of love that makes you want to give him or her the world. You do things like traveling across the world just to spend time with him / her, buying gifts, making unquestionably sacrifices. This feelings survive for long when in a relationship unlike when the marriage and the reality sets in. You wonder were did all the excitement go to. How did you lose the wonder. 

Most of the complains and reasons i hear from divorce couples are simple misunderstanding 

It's usually starts from a simple misunderstanding and it's grows into something else. And the next thing you hear from them is "I don't think we are In-love anymore, it's better we go our separate ways".

Building and keeping love in marriage requires

Understanding each other: When I say understanding each other I mean know what your spouse wants. During relationship everything is as it is expected. Most often we tend to over look some short comings of our spouse. But in marriage when the sparkle dry down we tend to see and experience everything for real.

Misunderstanding is what kills most marriages today. To be able to meet someone's need you have to know and understand what they actually want. I hear some couple say he is kind, he cleans, sometimes empty the trash, he helps in the kitchen. But "We do not talk at all". Hmm! What makes us feel love is what we do. Most couples do what makes them feel loved and happy to their spouse and think that is what makes their spouse happy. If it's not what the other person likes or wants it's means nothing. To him that is the way to express love. But all she wanted was to spend time with her husband. (Misunderstanding).

To learn how to Connect and keep Love Alive in your Marriage Read Below:

1. Praising your Partner: Marriage consists of persons who comes from different backgrounds, with different upbringing, and perspectives and already used to different ways of life. Apparently your spouse can bring back the spark in your marriage, ie. Verbally expressing your admiration and appreciating your spouse. Nothing will speak more deeply of your love than words of appreciation of what your spouse likes. 
2. Action: To this kind of people action speaks Louder than voice. Say "I love you", "I admire you". All they are thinking is if you love me why don't you show it. The way to make this type of person happy is finding out what he/she likes and doing them.
3. Buying of Gifts: What makes most persons happy is receiving gifts. Buying the right gift makes them feel loved and appreciated.
4. Quality Time: Spending quality time with each other giving the person your undivided attention. Quality time is going out or doing something for the purpose of spending time together.

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